Kinkyboys Podcast


Episode 18: Consent

WARNING: This episode contains descriptions of consent violations both factual and fictitious.

Today Adam and Craig delve into the ins and outs of Consent and kink and BDSM play. From the basics of pre play negotiation and continued consent to more advanced topics and unique issues with consent in kink and BDSM play.

Basic consent ideas

  • How to have a Pre scene discussion

  • What's the difference between hard limits and soft limits

  • Be ready to clearly set ideas, don’t be vague

  • Talk about the reasons behind your limits, don't just give a laundry list.

  • Absence of no isn't the same as yes. The ‘enthusiastic yes’ concept

  • Explain the concept of Continued consent

  • Ongoing discussions in a scene. Both the tops and bottoms responsibility

  • The traffic light system

Advanced consent ideas

  • Dangers of shifting limits in subspace

  • Dangers of going nonverbal

  • Playing without a safeword

  • Implicit expectations of play spaces, darkrooms/orgy rooms ect, knowing the space.

  • Clear ways to give nonverbal consent

  • Clear ways to show nonverbal refusal of Consent

  • How to protect yourself

  • The difficulty with grey areas of consent

    • Violation without a deliberate violator

    • Our thoughts on how to handle  these events as a sub

    • Our thoughts on how to handle events if you're the top in question

    • The concept of rashomon in conflict

For further exploration of these issues and concepts, I highly recommend these episodes of Graydancer’s Ropecast

If you would like to comment on anything talked about here today, or want to hear us talk about particular fetishes, or even wish to come on the show to talk about it yourself, you can reach us by Email, Facebook or Twitter at:

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