Kinkyboys Podcast


Episode 18: Consent

WARNING: This episode contains descriptions of consent violations both factual and fictitious.

Today Adam and Craig delve into the ins and outs of Consent and kink and BDSM play. From the basics of pre play negotiation and continued consent to more advanced topics and unique issues with consent in kink and BDSM play.

Basic consent ideas

  • How to have a Pre scene discussion

  • What's the difference between hard limits and soft limits

  • Be ready to clearly set ideas, don’t be vague

  • Talk about the reasons behind your limits, don't just give a laundry list.

  • Absence of no isn't the same as yes. The ‘enthusiastic yes’ concept

  • Explain the concept of Continued consent

  • Ongoing discussions in a scene. Both the tops and bottoms responsibility

  • The traffic light system

Advanced consent ideas

  • Dangers of shifting limits in subspace

  • Dangers of going nonverbal

  • Playing without a safeword

  • Implicit expectations of play spaces, darkrooms/orgy rooms ect, knowing the space.

  • Clear ways to give nonverbal consent

  • Clear ways to show nonverbal refusal of Consent

  • How to protect yourself

  • The difficulty with grey areas of consent

    • Violation without a deliberate violator

    • Our thoughts on how to handle  these events as a sub

    • Our thoughts on how to handle events if you're the top in question

    • The concept of rashomon in conflict

For further exploration of these issues and concepts, I highly recommend these episodes of Graydancer’s Ropecast

If you would like to comment on anything talked about here today, or want to hear us talk about particular fetishes, or even wish to come on the show to talk about it yourself, you can reach us by Email, Facebook or Twitter at:

This is brought to you by


Sir Dart on bondage and forced apperance changes

Today we are interviewing a friend of the show Sir Dart; An experienced kink educator, former bounded and gagged model, host of the darts domain podcast and Adam's Grand-Daddy.
Dart today talks with Adam and Craig about his history with bondage as well as his view on forcing appearance changes on someone as a form of domination, dealing with one of his biggest mistakes in a scene and much more.
we cover:

  • Dart's exposure to bondage and his 'coming out' about his kinky side
  • Acting in porn
  • First bondage experiences in bars
  • The differences between Shibari and practical bondage
  • The Psychology behind forced transformations and appearances
  • Personal experiences with Forced changes to appearances
  • The difficulties of coming out about an uncommon or unique fetish
  • The pros and cons of analyzing the roots of a fetish for people
  • Learning from your mistakes and putting other peoples safety before pride and ego
  • Mistakes in play we have made
  • dealing with jealousy and feeling compersion

Dart can be found as @DartsDomain on twitter and his blog and podcast are found at

fell free to give us your comments, listener letter, topic suggestions and questions you may want answering at:

@kinkyboyspod on twitter

today's sponsor is


Episode 9: Barebacking as a fetish, cultural narratives of safe sex,

This episode we have sexual health worker and former pornstar Jason in our new studio to talk about the nature of barebacking as a fetish and it's evolution in tandem with safe sex messages. We discuss:

  • The fetishisation of condom-less sex due to it becoming a taboo
  • Reasons for barebacking
  • Jason's experiences in porn
  • The current attitudes sexual health
  • Safety steps for bareback
  • the psychology of the BBBH
  • The cultural messages of gay sex being dangerous
  • Eroticising condom usage
  • What is a bottoms best friend?

If you wish to write in with questions, suggestions, comments or feedback contact us at

twitter: @kinkyboyspod